7 steps for more joyful work+life balance: Ask for help

We tend to think we can and should take on of so much when it comes to our jobs, house work and child care.

Most two-parent households, even in which both parents are working, are unevenly balanced. Research suggests that working women do about 4-8 more hours of housework each week compared to their husbands.

Often times the most uneven workloads take place when your kids are youngest – age 3 and younger. So know that if you do have young children, this will naturally start to even out more as your kids grow up.

STOP AND PLAN

What duties could your husband help out with more to make room for you to live more into your dream?

Talking to your husband about your dreams is usually the first step in helping you both get on the same page. Give it a 1 month “trial” to help you both see that It’s do-able and then re-evaluate in a month how you can both continue to support each other. A marriage is all about supporting one another, so make sure that you communicate about truly supporting one another on your journey.

Don’t forget outside support as well. Are there ways friends or family can help with ride sharing to and from activities, or trading childcare times with you, to provide more time for you?

Are there child care scenarios that make sense for you and your children. Remember that time with your kids is about quality, not quantity.

WHAT YOU CAN DO: BRING IN SUPPORT

Regardless of your children(‘s) ages, however, there is always room to work on the balance of household duties with your spouse and with your kids. What you may need to give up, however, is some control. As much as we’d like to think different, not everyone is going to parent the way we ourselves do, and this requires many concessions along the way.

Another issue that comes up a lot, is the feeling from women that they “should” be doing a certain amount of housework or childcare. From my perspective, I don’t think there’s ever room for “should” in a marriage. In the end, its not really about 50-50 or 60-40 or 20-80. It’s about what works for you both. If you have big dreams (and you do, or you wouldn’t be here) and you want to accomplish them while you have children at home, it’s going to require changes that allow you more time than you’ve been giving yourself.

You may also find just as much help and support from kids, other family members or friends if you share your needs.